A Woman's Perspective

We Don't Need To Obey, Just Submit!

2006-03-22T10:57:00.000-06:00

Sounds crazy, huh? Time and again, I hear from ladies, "We don't need to obey our husbands, we just have to submit." What's that supposed to mean?

So I did a little study on the words Submit and Obey.

Webster-Merriam Online Dictionary says this:

obey-
1 : to follow the commands or guidance of

submit-
1 a : to yield to governance or authority
1 a : to yield oneself to the authority or will of another : SURRENDER b : to permit oneself to be subjected to something

2 : to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another
synonym see YIELD

There is a bit of a difference between obey and submit. Obey means to follow the command of one in authority. Submit means to yield yourself to ones authority. To yield or submit is to give up, not fight, to surrender, or obey. The difference is slight. Obey is the actual following of directions, submitting is not merely following directions, but doing so in a way that is gracious, humble, and respectful.

In some ways, obedience calls for less than submission. Obedience is a military term. I say you must do A...you obey and do A. It doesn't speak to the heart. It doesn't matter if you are okay with A or not. It doesn't matter if you are huffy...if you did A...you obeyed. It is simply doing what you are told.

Submission is more. Submission is obedience and yielding. Submission is a word about the heart. The heart should not be fighting. It should yield. The heart should be at peace and not looking for loopholes.

Let's look at the Bible and see where the words "obey" and "submit" are used.

children obey parents in the Lord...Ephesians 6:1

Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord; 1 Peter 3:6

The word "obey" here is the same word. It is 5219 in Strong's Concordance and means:

1. to listen, to harken
1. of one who on the knock at the door comes to listen who it is, (the duty of a porter)
2. to harken to a command
1. to obey, be obedient to, submit to

It will be noted here that the same word that is used to instruct children to obey their parents is also used where Sarah is concerned. Sarah obeyed Abraham. And this was good. She is an example to us. We are to be like Sarah, who obeyed her husband. We are instructed to do likewise.

So for those women who hold to (as I once did) the claim that God said wives are to submit but not obey... Sorry, ladies, here it is. We are to obey like Sarah did. We are to hear the commands of our husbands and obey them.

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4:7

wives submit yourselves
Colossians 3:18

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands...
1 Peter 3:1

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:22

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Ephesians 5:24

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:5

The word submit and obedient in the above verses are all the same. They are the word Hupotasso, 5293 in Strong's. It means:

# to arrange under, to subordinate
# to subject, put in subjection
# to subject one's self, obey
# to submit to one's control
# to yield to one's admonition or advice
# to obey, be subject

I think we should note the first verse... Submit yourselves therefore to God... No one argues whether or not we obey God, right?

Just because it says "submit" in one place, doesn't rule out obedience. In fact, look at the definition above. Submit means to yield and obey. Submit is an active term that includes obedience with a yielding heart.

So, the word Submit does not require less of us than obey. In fact, it requires more. We are to willingly, with a good attitude, yield to our husbands, giving them the authority in the home, without fighting them. We are to have good attitudes while we obey.

Now, for the disclaimer that is always necessary at the end of these. Because we are still women who do not submit, but our hearts continually are unyielding, desiring the rule of the home, searching for loopholes, as is the curse of Eve...

We do not obey something that is a sin. We don't obey mindlessly. We are called to be wise helpers. We DO have an opinion. We DO offer advice or speak out to our husbands about unwise or ungodly decisions. We are to speak respectfully, yielding in our hearts to his authority, not fighting him with nagging, tears, and manipulations. But speaking gently, kindly in order to honor him and our God.

Obedience is different than submission. It is possible to submit and not obey. If your husband told you to sin, and you had to respectfully disobey, you could still be submitting without obeying the sin. Submission is more than obedience. It is a state of your heart. We are called to have submissive attitudes.

So, there it is, ladies. We don't need to just obey....we need to submit.

Taking That Nasty Tasting Medicine

2005-08-22T19:08:00.000-05:00

Being a wife and mother is hard. I lie here in bed having just had my fifth child. He is lying next to me all tired out from being born. He's only three days old. I stare at him in awe. Where did this precious little guy come from? His new skin is so soft and smooth. His steady sleepy breathing captivates me. He has that new baby smell. That mix of baby bath soap and baby powder. He is so tiny and precious. I love my new son. And that scares me.

What if God decides that I need to lose him? What if he gets sick and dies? What if he is hit by a car when he is ten? What if I fail as a mother and he decides to hate me? What if I don't teach him well and he turns away from Jesus?

Having children is a hard thing to do. Having faith and trust in God is even harder. The "what-ifs" go racing through my mind. I am afraid. It's not just limited to mothering. I am afraid of many things. I wonder if my husband will decide after five kids that this whole father and husband thing is getting old. I worry that he may decide he doesn't like my body now that it has borne five kids and looks like it. I worry he will think I've become mundane and boring. I wonder what he would do if some young, sexy, energetic woman took an interest in him. What would I do? Would I trust in God or would I become bitter with Him? Would I turn away?

I am a fearful person. I don't trust God the way I should. I pray and I try, and sometimes I do well. Sometimes I trust Him. Then other times He will test me and I fail. I fail miserably. I repent and try again.

I think a lot of women live in fear. We are afraid of everything. But God says that He loves us and we are not to fear. He says that He loves me --specifically. And He loves you --specifically. If He loves us, we needn't fear anything. Everything that happens is from God and He loves me.

Sometimes I have to do mean things to my kids. I've had to hold down my son's hands and shove nasty tasting medicine down his throat. I've made the kids eat food that they were sure was the most disgusting thing they had ever seen. I've taken away toys that they were fighting over. I've corrected, scolded, and disciplined. I am a mean mom because my kids don't always get what they want. Instead, I give them what they need. Sometimes what they need is not pleasant.

My Father gives me what I need. Sometimes it is wonderful. He has given me rest, love, joy, and peace. He has sent food when we were without. He gave money when we were a bit short of it. What I never like is when my Father thinks I need to learn something new. Which will be a great opportunity to see if I trust my Father's love or become afraid.

The Bible says we are not to fear or worry. If I do not fear, it doesn't mean that I believe that God won't let bad things happen to me. Not fearing is believing that all things that happen to me are good - because all things come from God. And my God loves me.

My three day old son may get sick and die. My husband may suddenly decide that he wasn't cut out to be a father of five and a husband to a fat woman. But I don't need to be afraid of these things. If these things happen, it is like God is holding down my hands and shoving nasty medicine down my throat. I don't like it. It doesn't taste good. It doesn't feel good. But it is good. It is good because it is from my Father who loves me.

The Bible says "that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)

Life is hard. Some people's lives seem harder than others. Some of us have lost children, husbands, parents, and good friends. Some never had them. Some wish they didn't have the ones that they have. But when we hold onto the promises that God is in control and loves us, we need not fear. All things are from God. All things work together for good for those who love God. God will give us the strength we need to handle whatever He brings our way at the time that we need it. We need not fear the future. We put our trust in God's love and sovereign power.

If He decides we need to take some nasty tasting medicine, He will also provide the water to chase it with.

Feed Me Questions

2005-06-30T17:41:00.000-05:00

I began writing my book, in part, because I am so very tired of there being nothing written to young urban women. Every time I pick up a book about godly mothering or being a godly wife it has some Victorian woman on the front or a prairie scene. While there is nothing wrong with being a farmer or enjoying victorian styles, it bothers me that this is so closely associated with being a godly woman. It leaves no room for the urban woman to remain urban and yet be godly.

I grew up in the city. I minister to women in the city. Though I am young, God has brought women into my life that need to be taught. For some reason, there is no one else to teach them. And so, though I am young, I do my best for God.

My ministry is to Christian women who may be lost, abused, alcoholic, drug-addicted, poor, criminal, forgotten, lonely, and struggling. Which means I can't hand them a book with a farmer on the front and tell them, "God wants you to be like this..." God wants the single mother of young children, on welfare, struggling to stay sober, to buy a farm? The books that are out there don't deal with issues like:

"Do you submit to a man who is beating you?"

"How do you respect the man who is a jerk?"

"What do you do if your husband wants you to sin?"

"What if my husband likes it when I wear skanky clothes?"

"How do I teach my child what God says when I haven't lived it the first 10 years of his/her life?"

"I divorced my husband because he was a lazy jerk. Can I remarry?"

"How am I supposed to be a keeper at home when I have two children and no husband?"

"Does a godly wife have to have only gentle, quiet sex?"

"What if my husband wants me to work?"

"What if my husband won't work? Should I get a job?"

"I think my husband might be seeing another woman. What do I do?"

I would love some feedback. Please send me the questions that bother you. What do you want answers to? Though I won't be able to answer them here and now, it will help me write my book. Thanks.

The Girl of Your Dreams: A Link

2005-06-12T18:12:00.000-05:00

This article is actually written to young, single men, but included in this article is a great story about Jesus and His girl (the Church). It really brings Ezekiel 16 into a modern day understanding. Warning: Those easily offended or children may not want to follow this link. The story is harsh and explicit. You know...kind of like the Bible in Ezekiel 16.

The Girl of Your Dreams by Joshua Gibbs

Divorce

2005-06-11T10:05:00.000-05:00

We live in a culture where adultery and divorce are normal. Everyone divorces. I have yet to meet a person who has not been touched by divorce in some way. It is so normal, we don’t think much of it. It’s like the weather. It’s something that happens. We have no control over it. Sometimes it’s sunny. Sometimes it storms. Sometimes people divorce. It’s too bad. But it will pass and sunny days come again. Adultery and divorce do not shake us like they should.

As we look into this next section, we need to first understand what the Bible says about adultery and divorce. Since we are so numb to it, we do not see how evil it is. Let’s read some Scripture to see what God has to say about it.

“ ‘For I hate divorce,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel…” Malachi 2:16a

"Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32

“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9

“But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.” 1 Corinthians 7:15

God says that He hates divorce. That should make us stop and consider. Before we immediately proceed to the exceptions and hold on to them in order to justify divorce, we need to take a serious look at this first Scripture. It matters. God hates divorce. God doesn’t say that He merely prefers that you do not divorce. He says, He hates divorce. Before anything else, we need to remember that the God we love and serve hates it when we divorce.

However, God does allow divorce. There are only two reasons a woman may divorce her husband. First, if her husband commits adultery. She is then free to divorce him and remarry. He may not. In addition, anyone who marries this man will be sinning also. The second, if the husband decides to leave her, she is free. If she has not committed adultery, but he has left her, then she may freely remarry. But he may not.

The Bible is fairly clear about divorce. God hates divorce. There is no divorce allowed except when a spouse commits adultery or decides to leave the faithful partner. Though the Bible is clear about divorce, there are still many questions.

What if he is abusive? What if he neglects me? What if he tries to get me to sin all the time? What if he is demanding and controlling? What if he is lazy and will not support me? There are lots of questions that many hurting women have. They are good, legitimate questions. The Bible has answers for all these questions too. We will go into them in more detail in later chapters. Please be patient. We’ll get there.

Submission is a Four-Letter Word

2005-05-28T13:21:00.000-05:00

This isn't a chapter for my book. As if any of the other "chapters" are. It all rough drafts of rough drafts, if it is even that.

Submission is a four letter word. Did you know that? Let me tell you about me.

I was fifteen. I was strong. I got straight A's in school. I was popular even. Imagine that. Straight A's and popular. How often do they go hand-in-hand. But for me, they did. I was fifteen. I had all my teachers wrapped around my little finger. I had the guy of my choice at school. I was physically fit. I took karate and boxing and did well at both of them. I knocked out a 350lb guy once, on accident. But that's different story! :-) I boxed with men because I thought women were wussy. I sparred with my sensei and his apprentice because I was just that good. I was too tough to spar the women. My sensei wouldn't let me. I would hurt them. I was teacher's pet to my literature teacher who was extremely liberal when it came to feminism and women's rights. Men were scum. I had been burned far too much by them. I had even considered the option to become a lesbian. It was a logical progression of my thinking that men were scum. Why did we need them anyway aside from procreation? I was smart, popular, fit, skinny, strong, needing no one, especially not some man, and very proud of it! I was woman. Hear me roar!

Then I became a Christian. Most of this did not change right away. I was still getting straight A's. I was still popular. I could still whip any guy my age. I still hated most men...except the one guy I was dating at the time. Even then, I wasn't so sure about him. But I loved God, because He saved me. And I do not mean that He merely gave me salvation, but He saved my life when I was about to take it. Okay...that's another story. I was hungry for God and for His Word. I soaked up every bit of teaching that came my way. And then...

Then my youth pastor read us something from the Bible. He read:

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:22-24

If my life had been a movie... right then the camera would have zoomed in on my face. The music would have been bass and dark sounding. "Dunn...Dunn...Dunnnnnn...." The color would have left me. My smile lost. My world crashed. Then a scene cut...

"What? The Bible doesn't say that!" That's what I thought. I literally demanded to know where. He must have been joking. How could the God that I loved and served believe that women were to be doormats? Of course my youth pastor must have been reading from a paraphrase written by some conservative, legalistic nut. He must have misunderstood the passage.

Nope...he showed it to me. It was right there in my NIV. SUBMIT. The dirty word. God said that wives were supposed to submit to their husbands. I was devastated. I went home that night depressed. I went to my room and shut the door. I sat on my bed with my Bible and prayed. "Dear God, what are you saying to me?"

I am a research junkie. I love research! I read that passage over and over. I got myself a notebook and a highlighter. I went through my Bible with a concordance and found every single passage I could find about women and wives. I highlighted everywhere. I took notes. I compared passages with each other. I looked up the Greek and Hebrew words. I looked up the word "submit" in Webster's and in Strong's. By the time I was finished, I was angry.

God was sexist. God degraded women. God thought men were better than women. God loved men more. God wanted women to be doormats.

But I was a Christian. God saved me. God loved me. Right? I owed my life to God. If it was not for God, I would have nothing at all to live for. I knew that. So I prayed... "God forgive me. I am a feminist. I will submit to whomever I marry. I will be a doormat for You."

Now, I didn't change right away. Even after I got married I had a hard time applying "doormat" to my married life. I was determined, intellectually, to do this. But I had a hard time embracing the actual doing of it.

But God began to soften my heart. And slowly I came to submit to my husband. But my theories were wrong. My theory was that SUBMIT was a four letter word. My theory was that God was sexist and wanted women to be doormats. But God was God and He could be a sexist if He wanted to. So I began to "submit."

What did this look like? Well, eventually, I stopped talking back to my husband, I called him "Sir" and "Master" when I thought it appropriate. I waited on him hand and foot as I was able. I gave him the extra food when we were too poor to afford much and went hungry myself (he didn't know I was doing this...of course, he would have been quite upset if he had known that I was still hungry--I'm sure as he reads this, this will be news to him). I tried never to disagree with him or correct him. Of course, I failed at this on occasion. I struggled to do all these things. I would never point out his sin and rebuke him. He was my husband and lord. Who was I to correct him? And so it went...for a while.

And then... God showed me something else.

"And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband." Revelation 21:2

God showed me why a wife is supposed to submit to her husband. So, like I said, I am a research junkie. I took out my Strong's, I took my Interlinear, I took out several versions of the Bible, I read from the Greek and Hebrew, I read book after book, I took notes, I didn't highlight this time (my husband hates it when I mark up books! haha), I read articles, I prayed and prayed... And God blessed my efforts.

God began to show me the WHY. As He showed me the WHY, He corrected my understanding. God did not want wives to be doormats. God wants wives to flourish in their role. God wants wives to be a reflection of the woman He is captivated by!

Did you know that the story of Jesus is about Him and His Bride? Did you know that the whole Bible is about Jesus and His love for a woman? Did you know that everything...all of this...the whole world, is about Jesus and a woman?

The whole world revolves around Jesus and His love for a woman. The woman is the Church. Jesus' love for the Church is not a love that is demeaning and sexist. It is sacrificial. It is meant to lift her up, to sanctify her, to cherish her, and to make her more lovely. Read Song of Solomon some time. The love and passion found between Solomon and his bride is a picture of the love and passion between Jesus and His bride. Oh, how I was wrong!

I began to look into what the Church does. Being a wife is a symbol of the Church. I'll get into this in my book. So therefore, it follows, that to learn what it means to be a Godly wife, is to learn what it means to be the Church. I'm a research junkie. :-) So I researched the Church. Notes, Strong's, Interlinear, etc.... The Church is not a doormat. The Church is the helper to the Lord.

Does God need our help in order to do anything? Well, no. He could do it all Himself. But He decided to do it this way. Why? Because it displays His love. So He has delegated to His Bride, the Church, many things. He made her His helper. She rules over His children, she fights the world, she takes dominion over His territory, she keeps it for Him. She feeds His children, loves them, cares for the poor and sick. She does many things. She does it all for His glory. She does it all to please Him. She does it to help Him.

"So what is a submissive wife now?" I ask myself and I ask God. Submission is simply sacrificing my own desires to do the will of my husband. I am to take his hopes and his dreams and make them my own. As a wife, I help him in his goals. That doesn't mean I don't ask him to take out the garbage. It also doesn't mean that I don't point out his sin, sometimes.

After all, his goal is to be a godly man. Helping him with his dreams and goals means helping him struggle through his sin. So now, I have come up off the floor and I walk beside him. I hold his hand, I help him as he stumbles. I suggest which path I think he should take sometimes. I point out when we are on the wrong path. But I follow his lead. For a helper is there to help, not lead. Though that does sometimes mean I tell him what to do. I've been known to say, "Go to bed, you're sick. I'm calling your boss and telling him you cannot come to work today! I don't want to see you down stairs again!" Of course it is said with love and respect. He knows it too. It is said because submission does not equal doormat. Submission means I am helping him walk the path he chose.

Submission is not a four letter word. Count the letters. There is much more to it than that.

2005-05-25T15:47:00.000-05:00

This is my rose bush in front of my window.

When Roses Bloom

2005-05-24T09:15:00.000-05:00

I have the next section that I am going to write. It's in my head. I pray I don't lose it.

I've had no time, recently. We had family in town last week. It was nice to see them. But that leaves no time to write. Now this week I am trying to catch up on all the chores I put off last week. There is no time to write the section I want to write. Not with all the research it requires. But hey, I'm in no rush.

I look to the left, to my family room window. Last year I planted a climbing rose bush. It didn't bloom last year. This year there are at least 20 or 30 buds so far. It's right in the center of my window, today. I see four beautiful, fully blossomed roses. I know that my God put them there. Not just this vague idea that God makes flowers. No. God made these flowers. For me. He put them in this exact place. Centered in my window, like a perfect picture.

They inspire me. That rose bush that didn't bloom right away. God was preparing it for its time and place. God watered it (I sure didn't). God gave it the food it needed to grow. God decided it would bloom today. In front of my window. Centered in my window. Now that it has bloomed, it is not a single blossom. This bush will blossom all over my backyard gate. It will be beautiful. It's purpose...to inspire me and make me to glorify my God, the Creator of roses!

I am like that rose bush. I will bloom when God decides it is time. I believe in a God that nourishes my soul. I will bloom when He decides and where He decides. The blossoms will be bright and beautiful. God would produce nothing less. And by God's grace, I will be an inspiration to someone else. I pray that whatever God produces in me will cause someone to say, "Glory to God, the Creator of roses!"

Yes. My book will come when it is ready. When God decides. If He decides. By that time, if it is God's will, the book will be good, despite my inadequacies. God will give whatever it is I need, when I need it. When God plants a rose bush, the roses bloom.

God help me.

An Open Letter to My Husband

2005-05-12T13:39:00.000-05:00

Seth,

Yesterday afternoon was tough for me. I was really worn out. For those who do not know, I am currently 6 months pregnant with our fifth child. I had done large amounts of laundry, because I had fallen behind. I thoroughly cleaned my sons' room. As anyone who has young boys knows, they make a great big mess! I thought it was time that Mom came through and cleaned it up this time. Plus, I did all my other daily chores. I was determined to get caught up and have a clean house! But, I was wiped by the time Seth called me at 5pm to say he was on his way home.

I wanted to have energy for him. To be able to minister to him and his needs after a long day's work. But today, I had no energy. Today, I had just done too much.

When Seth came in the door, he immediately asked how he could help me. I was so relieved. He helped me get the dinner to the table. Then after dinner, he let me lie down while he cleaned up and put the kids to bed. Then he arranged for me a candlelight bubble bath so I could relax! He brought me a drink and dessert and continually asked if there was anything at all that I needed. After all that, we played a game together.

It was a very relaxing evening after such a long day. I thank you, my Precious Husband. You always take care of me and cherish me. I want to take this opportunity to publically praise you. You are a husband worthy of great praise. There are few like you. I am blessed to be called your wife. Thank you for your precious patience and gentle care.

I pray we will have many more wonderful days together.

I love you.

Your Wife,

Crystal

God Called Israel His Wife

2005-05-10T15:00:00.000-05:00

The relationship between God and His people is the most beautiful, most intimate relationship that exists. God knows it is difficult for us to understand Him and our relationship with Him. We are mere dust. God knows this. So He has given to us symbols and pictures to understand our relationship with Him.

One symbol He has given us is marriage. We are able to understand the closeness between a husband and wife because many of us are wives. Even if we are not, we have seen wives and their husbands. We understand it, because we have seen it and lived it. The Bible describes our relationship with God like a marriage. We, therefore, can understand the close intimacy between God and His people when it is described as a marriage, because we understand marriage.

Israel was married to God. God described Himself as being like the Husband to Israel, His special people. He had a covenant, a relationship with a promise, with them just like marriage. He made a promise to them that He would be their God and they would be His people. There was a special oneness between the two of them. Just as husband and wife become one flesh, so did God and Israel. Just as a husband and wife promise to be faithful until death, God and Israel had this same covenant.

“ ‘Then I passed by you and saw you, and behold, you were at the time for love; so I swore to you and entered into a covenant with you so that you became Mine,’ declares the Lord God.” Ezekiel 16:8

“For your husband is your Maker, whose name is the Lord of Hosts; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.” Isaiah 54:5

A husband and wife are supposed to be faithful to one another until death. They are to love one another in all things. Always being faithful. Always persevering. Always being honest. A marriage is supposed to be an intimate, comfortable, safe relationship. A marriage shares with one another the deepest secrets and longings of our hearts. This is what God desired between Himself and His people, Israel. And so He made her His wife.

But we live in this world. We know how marriages often work. Many marriages end in divorce. Many men and women commit adultery. Many marriages get dried out, boring, or even abusive. God’s marriage with Israel didn’t work out either. His wife was not often faithful. She decided she didn’t really like her Husband, after all. He was boring. She thought she could do better. So she ran off, looking for happiness in other men.

“But you trusted in your beauty and played the harlot because of your fame, and you poured out your harlotries on every passer-by who might be willing.” Ezekiel 16:15

“Surely, as a woman treacherously departs from her lover, so you have dealt treacherously with Me, O house of Israel,’ declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 3:20

We also know that when a marriage falls apart, if there are any children, they are grounds to be fought over. How often do husband and wife fight over who will have custody of the children? How about fighting over what they get to do, who they may go out with, what their curfew should be, which school they should go to and more? In God’s broken relationship with Israel, God inquires about His children.

“Moreover, you took your sons and daughters whom you had borne to Me, and you sacrificed them to idols to be devoured. Were your harlotries so small a mater? You slaughtered My children, and offered them up to idols by causing them to pass through the fire.” Ezekiel 16:20-21

God established marriage. He desires forgiveness and reconciliation for marriages that struggle with problems. The Bible says in Malachi 2:16, “I hate divorce,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel.” It also says in Matthew 19:6, “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” But the Bible allows a man or woman to divorce when adultery has occurred. This is not to say that they must, however. For a man or woman may and should, forgive their spouse if they are repentant, and continue to be married to them. But for an unfaithful husband or wife who is unrepentant and will not return to the marriage, the Bible says that the spouse may give to a certificate of divorce. The faithful husband or wife has not sinned, but is free to remarry, if he or she so chooses.

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house…” Deuteronomy 24:1

“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9

Israel continued to be unrepentant and unfaithful to her Husband and God. The Bible says that God gave to Israel a certificate of divorce. God divorced His wife, Israel. Though He hates divorce, God, Himself, endured it. In order for Him to divorce Israel, He would have to declare her unfaithful. For the only reason God allows for divorce is unfaithfulness.

“And I saw that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel, I had sent her away and given her a writ of divorce…” Jeremiah 3:8

“Because you have forgotten Me and trusted in falsehood. So I Myself have also stripped your skirts off over your face, that your shame may be seen. As for your adulteries and your lustful neighings, the lewdness of your prostitution on the hills of the field, I have seen your abominations. Woe to you, O Jerusalem! How long will you remain unclean?” Jeremiah 13:25b-27

God judged His unfaithful wife. He displayed to the whole world how she was unfaithful. He let her go and be consumed by her own sin. Though God judges Israel, you will see in the following verses, He doesn’t really do anything except let her commit the sins that she wants to commit. Though God judges her, she really brings it all upon herself as well. He doesn’t do to her anything except what she wanted in the first place. His judgment upon Israel was to simply let her go and do what she wanted to do.

“Thus says the Lord God, ‘Because your lewdness was poured out and your nakedness uncovered through your harlotries with your lovers and with your detestable idols, and because of the blood of your sons which you gave to idols, therefore, behold, I shall gather your lovers with whom you took pleasure, even all those whom you loved and all those whom you hated. So I shall gather them against you from every direction and expose your nakedness to them that they may see your nakedness. Thus I shall judge you like women who commit adultery or shed blood are judged; and I shall bring on you the blood of wrath and jealousy.

“I shall also give you into the hands of your lovers, and they will tear down your shrines, demolish your high places, strip you of your clothing, take away your jewels, and will leave you naked and bare. They will incite a crowd against you, and they will stone you and cut you to pieces with their swords. And they will burn your houses with fire and execute judgment on you in the sight of many women. Then I shall stop you from playing the harlot, and you will no longer pay your lovers.

“So I shall calm My fury against you, and My jealousy will depart from you, and I shall be pacified and angry no more.” Ezekiel 16:36-42

God’s judgment upon Israel was not done because He was angry and wanted to feel better. Many women grew up in abusive homes. Many wives today life with abusive husbands. It is easy to misunderstand God’s wrath and jealousy. We need to understand that God does not lose His temper. God is never out of control. God did not judge Israel because He got upset and threw a temper tantrum. God judged Israel for her own good. His hopes in judging her is that she would see her sin and repent. His judgment is not to satisfy His own anger, but to help Israel see her sin and folly and return. God’s judgment on Israel is to show her that her sins are not what she really wants.

“For she is not my wife, and I am not her husband; And let her put away her harlotry from her face, and her adultery from between her breasts, lest I strip her naked and expose her as on the day she was born. I will also make her like a wilderness, make her like a desert land, and slay her with thirst. Also, I will have no compassion on her children, because they are children of harlotry. For their mother has played the harlot; She who conceived them has acted shamefully. For she said, ‘I will go after my lovers, who give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax, my oil and my drink.’ Therefore, behold, I will hedge up her way with thorns, and I will build a wall against her so that she cannot find her paths. And she will pursue her lovers, but she will not overtake them; And she will seek them, but will not find them. Then she will say, ‘I will go back to my first husband, for it was better for me then than now!’" Hosea 2:2-7

The judgment upon Israel works! God says that in time, His wife will repent and return to Him. He says that she will be ashamed as she returns. But He will forgive her. Doesn’t this sound similar to our own salvation? We come to Jesus when we have been shown our sin and repent. We are ashamed, but God forgives.

“ ‘Thus I will establish My covenant with you, and you shall know that I am the Lord, in order that you may remember and be ashamed, and never open your mouth anymore because of your humiliation, when I have forgiven you for all that you have done,’ the Lord declares.” Ezekiel 16:62-63

God promises that He will take back the repentant Israel. He says He will forgive her and remarry her. He promises that He will no longer remember how she sinned against Him. Even more than that, he promises that their love will be sweet and last forever. He will woo her and love her as a precious bride.

“ ‘Therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness, and speak kindly to her. Then I will give her her vineyards from there, and the valleys of Achor as a door of hope. And she will sing there as in the days of her youth, as in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt. And it will come about in that day,’ declares the Lord, ‘That you will call Me my Husband and will no longer call me my Master… And I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, in lovingkindness and in compassion, and I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord.” Hosea 2:14-16 and 2:19-20

“ ‘Behold, days are coming,’ declares the Lord, ‘when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant which I made with their fathers in the day I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, although I was a husband to them,’ declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 31:31-32

When did God remarry His wife? When did Israel repent? The prophecy of a renewed relationship with God happened on the cross. That is when the forgiveness took place. There is a sense in which the relationship between God and Israel was most specifically between Jesus and Israel. Jesus loved His unfaithful wife so much, that He left His heavenly home, came to earth to be a man, lived the perfect life, and died on the cross, in her place.

The penalty for adultery, in the Bible, is death. But Jesus didn’t want His wife to die. Though she was unfaithful to Him, though she slept with other men, though she flaunted herself and her sin in His face, He still loved her. He knew the penalty for her adultery was death. So He died in her place. Though Jesus was a faithful Husband to His wife, He took upon Himself the penalty for adultery in her place.

“God demonstrates His own love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

What is the Church?

2005-05-06T01:44:00.000-05:00

The Church is a community. But it is difficult to explain what the Church is, in this day and age. We are so caught up in individualism to really understand community. We are all about “my personal walk with Jesus” that we completely forget that there is a thing called the Church.

When God made a covenant with Abraham, He didn’t make it with a bunch of individuals. God didn’t go to each individual person and tell him about this covenant. God made a covenant with Abraham and his descendants.

Time and again in the Bible, there are cases where a man sins. There is one story in Numbers 16, where Korah, Dathan, and Abiram were killed because they refused to obey Moses and Aaron, whom God put in charge over them. They complained that they shouldn’t have to obey. They said that they were just as holy as Moses and Aaron. Why should Moses and Aaron have this special ‘high holy place?’ They argued that they should be allowed to do everything that Moses and Aaron did as the leader and High Priest. But when they tried to, God killed them. The strange thing about all this is that God didn’t just kill them. God killed them, their wives, their children, their servants, and destroyed all their belongings. The earth opened up and it all fell in.

Why did God kill the wives and children too? I struggled with this for a while. What sin had the wife committed? Why kill the children? They were innocent, weren’t they? The answer is in this. God deals with us as communites and not just individuals. Now God does deal with us as individuals as well. There is no question about that. But in this culture, where we are so caught up in the individualism, we need to balance it with the other side. The wife and children were killed simply because they were part of the family community. Korah, Dathan, and Abiram were heads over their family community. Because of their sin, and because they were the head, their whole community suffered the consequences. Individually, their wives might have been innocent and gone on to be with Jesus in heaven, for all we know.

We do know that even as Christians get caught in the crossfire of judgement, the judgement can be for her a blessing. God says that all things work together for good for those who are in Christ Jesus. If this is true, and of course it is, then getting caught in the crossfire of judgement is used by God to work for the good of this woman. You might be reading this now, a woman reaping the consequences of your husband’s sin. Maybe he can’t keep a job because of his temper. Maybe he is an alcoholic. You certainly reap the consequences for his sin. Perhaps you grew up in an abusive home. I’m sure you have plenty of scars. Is it your sin that put those scars there? No. But you had to deal with the consequences of somebody else’s sin, nonetheless. And why is this?

We are made up of communities. Families. Churches. We cannot help but be that way. That is how God made us. In the beginning, God made man. But he was alone. And so God gave him a family. God made the very first community from the start of creation. And since then, we continue to make them. We make groups, clubs, schools, towns, cities, states, and countries. We are made in God’s image. God is a Creator of communities. So are we.

The Church is a very special community that God created. She is special because she is precious to Jesus. She is His wife. She is the very reason that Jesus came and died.

The Church is made up of all the believers living and dead and those yet to come. The Bible calls us the Elect. Those set apart from the world. We all serve Jesus individually. That is important. But we also serve Him as a whole. As a community of believers. Jesus deals with us as a community also.

In some cases, communities are large. The entire Chinese Church is being persecuted as a community of believers. They suffer together, as a community. In our country, we are given much freedom to serve God. However, I fear we are being judged because we are allowing our riches to rule over us. We are a lazy American Church. So, we will be judged as a community. The entire community stands together, under persecution, under judgement, and under peace, if they are so blessed.

Communities get smaller and smaller. We could discuss the communities of denominations. The Baptist Church is a community. The Presbyterian Church is a community. Then in some denominations you have smaller groups according to regions. Then you have the community of churches within a town. Right down to your specific church you attend on Sundays. Or maybe you don’t, but you should. You’ll find out why, soon. You see we are a large Community, the Church, the Bride, made up of smaller communities. Even the churches we belong to is made up of families which is a community in itself. Until it finally breaks down to individual people.

God deals with His entire Church a certain way all the way down to specific local churches down to individuals. Though we are many, we are One. There is a special mystical bond between us and all our brothers and sisters throughout the world. When churches are being persecuted throughout the world, the entire Church is being persecuted.

Now when I say Church, for some people that triggers painful memories or maybe even anger. Many people have grown up in the “church” around hypocrites. Maybe you weren’t accepted. Maybe people looked down on you. You just didn’t make it in their goody two shoes book. So you’ve written off the church. You’re going to worship God on your own. You’re not going to have some so and so telling you what to do or what not to do.

First, I want to say, I’m sorry that you were hurt. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon. I’ve had my share of pains at churches. People wouldn’t accept me either. People looked down on me too. I jumped from church to church for a while looking for what I called ‘real Christians.’ Please know that your pain is real, and I consider it as I write these words. I feel your pain. Having said that, you need to know that it is mandatory, in as much as you are able, to be a part of a local church.

Oh, I know it is politically incorrect for me to say this. You should be able to walk on your own with Jesus. Just me and my Bible religion. You should be able to decide for yourself what the Bible says. You don’t need some high holy guy telling you what to do. God will accept your own private worship just as well as some church, right?

Remember Korah, Dathan, and Abiram? They thought the same thing. “Who put you in charge?” they asked. The answer came a chapter later. God did. What happened to Koran, Dathan, and Abiram? They all died.

So what am I saying? If you don’t join a local church that God is going to kill you? Well, I don’t know about that. Though, surely it is not beyond His power, or His character. But again, this is a picture for us to learn from. God showed us by the death of these men and their families, that God has placed people in charge and we need to obey them.

Now I said an evil word. “Obey.” Obey whom? Obey the Church. God established elders to keep watch over our souls. The Bible says in Hebrews 13:17 that we are to obey them for they keep watch over our souls. They will be held accountable for you. There is absolutely no way that elders can keep watch over your soul if you do not belong to a church.

Why is God so adamant about our being part of a church? Why put leaders in charge? Why can’t we simply be a community of equals who gather together to worship God in our own way, yet together? Well in part, it always comes down to this simple answer. Because God said so. But God always has good reasons for saying so!

Why is God so adamant about our being part of a church? From the very beginning of time, God has put men in charge of His people. God says that, His people without a leader, is an unfortunate thing. Jesus took pity on the people of his day, saying they were like sheep without a shepherd. They had no teachers. They had nobody to lead them. God wants us in a church because it is good for us. We need someone to teach us and guide us. If we do not, we will often fall astray to false teachings. The Bible says, they keep watch over our souls.

Why can’t we simply be a community of equals who gather together to worship God in our own way? God doesn’t allow us to worship Him in our own way. God has laid out in His Word how we are to worship Him. Straying from this is a sin.

When Israel was wondering in the desert, God instructed the people to make the Tabernacle. This was a tent where God’s presence dwelt. Only certain people were allowed certain places. And only certain people were allowed to do certain things. For example, only the priests were allowed to burn the special incense to God. And only a certain kind of incense. But Nadab and Abihu, sons of the High Priest, Aaron, decided to burn before God a different kind of incense. So God killed them.

God has laid out for us the means by which we come to Him. And there is no way to come to Him except by the ways He has established. No one comes to the Father but by Jesus. And you cannot become one with Him without being His Bride. You cannot be the Bride unless you’ve been baptized and made part of the Church.

God will not accept worship that is different than how He has laid out for us in His Word. The Church is God’s special community. His Bride. Though she sins, allowing hypocrites to rule, false children to run in her home, she is still the special community, ordained by God. Jesus has given her the authority to open and close the gates of the kingdom of God. We do not commonly accept this idea in our day and age since we are so much like Korah, Dathan, and Abiram. We don’t want anyone to tell us the way it is. We want to decide for ourselves. Where did that get them?

The Church is God’s special community, that acts with the authority of a mother over her children. God has given her the authority to reign and rule. We are the children of God. He is our Father. And the Church is our Mother.

Pictures

2005-05-06T01:23:00.000-05:00

The Bible is filled with pictures. The entire Old Testament is a picture. The sacrifices. The Temple. The falling away of Israel. The return of Israel. All leading up to the need of a Savior. All leading up to Jesus. God speaks to us in pictures.

There is a very important picture we are going to look at in this book. It is a picture of a wife and her walk with her husband. Jesus. This picture, or story, is a true one. God explains our relationship with Him in the form of a picture so that we can understand. Our relationship with our God is a truly mystical experience that is not easily understood. But God has given us a means to understand it. God has given us marriage. We understand our relationship with God as a marriage between Him and us. We, the Church, are the Bride. And Jesus is the Husband.

It is not out of the norm for God to use a picture to explain something to us. The Old Testament is filled with pictures. Often times, these pictures were real people, living real lives. God used their lives to show us something. To teach us by painting for us a picture.

Jonah was in the belly of the whale for three days. But he didn’t die. He was victorious. He was spit back out on the third day. This is a picture of how Jesus would be dead and raised up on the third day.

The flood is a picture of God’s salvation. God uses water, like in baptism, to cleanse the whole world from sin. Those who are His, He saves from death. After the salvation is complete, God makes with His people a covenant. This is a picture of our baptism. Our death of our old self, that died in the flood and is raised up and saved. Then God makes a covenant with us, placing His mark upon us as His own.

The story of Isaac is a wonderful picture of our salvation. Abraham takes Isaac to sacrifice Him. But God doesn’t let him die. God offers a lamb in his place. This animal is a picture of Jesus. For we did not have to die, but Jesus died in our place.

Another great picture in the Bible is how God saves His people from slavery in Egypt. He brings them out into the desert, for what seems like a long time to them. They wonder around and many fall away from God and die. But in the end, the people are brought into the Promised Land. The Land flowing with milk and honey. This is a perfect picture of God’s Church. We were enslaved in our sin. But God freed us from our sin. Now we wander in the wilderness, fighting to remain faithful until the great day when we stand looking over the Jordan. Then God will bring us into the Promised Land, our Heavenly Home.

The Bible is filled with pictures for our instruction. There are literally hundreds, maybe thousands of pictures all over the Bible. Most of them are real stories about real people. So it is not strange to say that God uses marriage as a picture to explain to us our relationship with Him.

God created marriage to explain a great truth about Himself that could not be explained in any other way. Our relationship with God is a very close intimate relationship. Like in marriage. But if there was no marriage, how else could I explain to you that our relationship with God is a close intimate relationship? There is no closer relationship in creation than marriage…except our relationship with God. Which is, well, kind of like marriage.

God wanted us to understand His love for us in a very practical way. When we live day in and day out as a wife, caring for every little thing concerning our husbands, including washing his underwear, we learn very quickly what it means to be the Church, the Bride of Jesus. We learn that being the Church is not just a word to be tossed around. “I belong to a church.” No. Being the Church is being the wife of Jesus. We will take a look later at what that entails. When you join the Church of God, you are not just joining a club. You are wedding yourself to Christ. You become a bride. Being the Bride of Jesus is like being a wife. And being a wife is like being the Church of Jesus. They are actually one and the same.

Disclaimer

2005-05-05T21:14:00.000-05:00

As a disclaimer...

People seem to be misunderstanding a few things about my blog.

First, I am writing in this blog in order to organize my thoughts. Eventually, Lord willing, it will be published in the form of a book. When this will be, God only knows.

Secondly, the articles I am writing are notes about each section of my book. They are not the whole of it. There are many things I have not yet said. But please be patient. I do plan to address them all.

The Whore

2005-05-04T16:07:00.000-05:00

The Bible says that God is married. In the Old Testament, the people of God, Israel, was called the wife of God. However, sometimes she was an unfaithful wife. Israel would often stray away from God and turn to idols. God described Israel as a wife, straying from her husband to sleep with other men.

"Have you seen what the faithless Israel did? She went up on every high hill and under every green tree, and she was a harlot there. And I thought, 'After she has done all these things, she will return to Me'; but she did not return, and her treacherous sister Judah saw it. And I saw that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel, I had sent her away and given her a writ of divorce..." Jeremiah 3:7

Time after time, Israel is called the unfaithful wife of God. Hosea is a good example. Hosea is told to marry a prostitute and have children with her because Israel refused to be faithful. This was to be a living example of God's judgement on Israel.

A harsh example of faithless Israel is found in Ezekiel 16. Israel is called the wife of God, but she goes out and becomes a whore. The Bible says she is not like other whores, however. She goes out begging people to sleep with her. In fact, paying them to sleep with her.

God is disgusted with His faithless wife. He says that He will expose her nakedness and judge her in His wrath and jealousy. He will give her over to the hands of her lovers and let them abuse her, stripping her of everything she holds dear. In Jeremiah 3:7, it says that God gives to his faithless wife a writ of divorce. In Hosea 1:9 God says, "For you are not My people and I am not your God."

I some ways it can be said that God is like a divorced man. His wife was unfaithful and refused to return to Him. And so He divorced Her and remarried. In some ways, the woman He remarries is not a different woman. She is the same, but she has been cleansed. Jjust as we are new creatures in Christ, our old selves having died, the new bride is truly a new creature also. The new bride is not the same as the old one, the faithless whore. Though, she is the same woman. Just as you are not the same, as you have been cleansed of your filthiness, and yet you are still you, the same person.

"And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband." Revelation 21:2

Just as the old wife of God was Israel, the people of God, the new wife of Jesus is the Church. This is why Ephesians 5 says that wives are to obey their husbands. As the Church is the wife of Jesus, she obeys Him. So it is right that a wife obey her husband in all things. Also that a husband cherish his wife, as Jesus cherishes His Church and died for her.

In my previous article, "Why Does God Want Wives to Obey Their Husbands?" I explain that we are living as symbols. Husbands are symbols of Jesus, the Husband. And wives are symbols of the Church, the Wife. Which is why it is important for wives to obey their husbands and for husbands to love their wives.

There is another character in the storyline that I lay out in that article. She is the old wife. The unfaithful Israel. Or as many places in the Bible call her, the Whore. There are many things said about the Whore. What she is like. What she does. What she cares about. We, being women, need to be very careful that we are displaying before God the qualities of the Faithful Bride and not the Faithless Whore.

"But you trusted in your beauty and played the whore because of your renown and lavished your whorings on any passerby; your beauty became his.” Ezekiel 16:15

Websters says that a whore is someone who engages in sexual acts for money. She is promiscuous and immoral. She is venal and unscrupulous. She is devoted to corrupt or unworthy purposes. She is capable of being bought by money or other valuable consideration. She is easily bribed.

This does not mean just sex. When the Bible talks about the Whore in relation to Israel, God is saying that the Church, the Bride, has left her husband. God is talking about idolatry. Idolatry is adultery. When we seek after things and make them more important to us than God, it is idolatry. It is like we are saying to God, “We don’t want you. We want someone else.” And so when the Church begins to love things more than God, she commits adultery. This means she turned aside to other things. Like the love of money, the love of material things, or the love self.

Now as we explore the Whore, let’s remember that we as individuals can be the Whore. And we as a community, the Bride, the Church, can be a Whore also. Let’s see what a Whore looks like and decide if we are playing the Whore as a Church and as individuals.

“And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart. She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home; now in the street, now in the market, and at every corner she lies in wait. ” Proverbs 7:10-12

The whore is loud and uncontrollable. She runs after the things she wants. Never at home. Always on the prowl for something new. Something exciting. Something that will finally make her happy.

Are we as the Church dissatisfied with God and hoping to get a quick emotional thrill from a feel good song, instead of loving the Husband’s Word? Is the Church leaving her God for something new, fun, and exciting? Is the Church turning her eyes away from home, the members of the Church? Is she nourishing the spirits of her children or is she too busy doing other things? Is she providing for the needs of her family members, the members of the Church, or do the children have to seek provisions from other places, like the government? If the Church is failing in these areas, you need to pray for Her. For she has left her Husband and is playing the Whore.

How about as individuals. Is this you? Are you loud? Do you speak to your husband with a cutting tone? Do swear at him? Call him names to his face or behind his back? Do you complain about him? Are you quick to let your friends know the newest annoying thing he did?

Are you wayward? Uncontrollable? Do you live by the Word of God or do you live by your emotions? Do you let them control you? Do you lash out and speak harshly to your husband? Do you blame him for your unhappiness? Are you angry with God for treating you “unfairly?”

Are you wily of heart? Do you lie to your husband? Spend money he doesn’t know about? Go places that you would rather he not know about? See people you shouldn’t?

Her feet do not stay at home. Do you make your house a home? Do you fill your walls with love? Can you feel the peace in your home? Are you even there? Do you feel like you never see your husband or your children because work is so demanding? Because you’re too tired when you get home? When your husband gives you that look, after a long day at work, do you say, “Oh, no…not tonight. I’m too tired.” Have you spent all day working hard, looking good, for some other man only to come home to your husband all dried up and tired with nothing left to give him?

Are you reading this part, realizing you do stay at home, you don’t complain about your husband, and you do not lie to him? Are you proud?

“ And you took your sons and your daughters, whom you had borne to me, and these you sacrificed to them to be devoured. Were your whorings so small a matter that you slaughtered my children and delivered them up as an offering by fire to them?” Ezekiel 16:20-21

The Whore does not care about her children. Instead, she sacrifices them so she can have her own way. It is more important to her to do what she wants to do than to take care of her children.

As the Church, are we sacrificing our children? Are we losing them? Are our children walking in the ways of God? The Church is the Mother. The members are the children. Adults and kids are both called the children. Does the Church, our Mother, teach us and equip us for life? Is she there for us to counsel us? Does she discipline us when we go astray? Are we well fed on the Word of God or are we starving?

Most Christians do not believe in abortion. But you would be surprised how poorly many of us treat our children. Let’s ask ourselves the following questions. Do you love your children? Really? Are you very careful to make sure you don’t have any (more) burdens? Do you ship off the children as often as possible to school? Daycare? Summer camp? Do you teach your children the ways of God? Is it just lipservice? Do you talk to your children? Counsel your children? Listen to your children? If you do not teach your children at home, do they have Godly teachers that tell them the ways of God? Have you given them over to the heathens in the public schools to teach them the ways of the Whore? Have you sacrificed your children so that you can feel fulfilled by a career? Because you just don’t want to deal with children? Because you are unwilling to have the patience? Have you answered yes to any of these questions? You are not alone. Many mothers have abandoned their children for selfishness. For Whoredom. But they don’t have to be abandoned forever.

Let’s find our lonely, abandoned children and bring them back into our arms and love them like a mother should. Let’s return to our Mother, the Church, and ask her to take care of her abandoned children. Let’s ask her to teach us.

You may be reading this as a woman with a rather large quiver of arrows, as the Bible puts it. You homeschool your children diligently. You make sure they know how to read and write and do college level calculus. They know Latin. They could beat just about anyone in your neighborhood at an academic quiz or standardized test. But do they love Jesus? Is your teaching prideful? Is it about puffing them up with knowledge? Even a homeschooling mother can be sacrificing her children, like the Whore, if the center of the daily teaching is not about loving Jesus and living faithfully in His sight. What does this really have to do with Latin?

"Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy." Ezekiel 16:49

The Whore is proud, well fed, rich and selfish. Are we too proud to humble ourselves? Are we willing to take the role as a servant, like Jesus did? Are we willing to walk in the shadows and wait for a reward in heaven? That is what God calls wives to do. We are to support our husbands. We should not be too proud to submit ourselves to our husbands. Why don’t you want to obey your husband? Do you think he is incapable? Do you think your ways are better than his? Are you proud? Do you trust in your own “beauty” like the Whore did?

Many women work because they are sure they cannot afford not to. In most cases, however, that’s just not true. We have an excess of food and prosperity in this country. Most “poor” people at the very least have cable and a car. Often when we look into how much we actually spend to work, after childcare, gas, prepared meals, dinners out, lunches, an extra vehicle, etc., we find that we are not really making all that much. And in some cases, we are even losing money by working. And if that isn’t bad enough, we have to be away from the home. Which means our family is in daycare and eating prepared meals. Do our homes feel like a home or a gathering place where we eat and sleep and head out again?

Are the luxuries we have because we work really worth it? Do we really need to watch all that TV that just encourages in the ways of the Whore anyway? Do we really need that nice, name brand, food? Do we really need to work so we can tear apart our bodies with chips and soda? Do we work so hard so we can have a really nice house? A house that we never sit in because we are so busy working? Maybe we work so we can buy a nice, dependable, fancy car, so we can show it off to our friends and build up our pride. What are you buying with your money? Does it glorify God? Could you do without for the sake of your home? Are you willing to cut back in order to be the Bride who takes care of her home?

Do you stay at home, refuse to watch cable, drive one car that’s falling apart? Do you take pride in your poverty? Do you see yourself as holier because you are poor? Being poor is not a goal we should have. Being Godly, rather, is what we should be pursuing. It is not a sin to be wealthy, nor a sin to be poor. But we need to be so very careful to guard our hearts. Especially when everything looks good on the outside. Above all things, the heart is the most deceitful.

“Adulterous wife, who receives strangers instead of her husband! Men give gifts to all prostitutes, but you gave your gifts to all your lovers, bribing them to come to you from every side with your whorings. So you were different from other women in your whorings. No one solicited you to play the whore, and you gave payment, while no payment was given to you; therefore you were different.” Ezekiel 16:32-34

God describes Israel, His adulterous wife, as a whore. But she is unlike other whores. She didn’t have people come to her to pay her for service. Instead, she runs off begging people to use her. She even pays them to use her. Her sin costs her everything she has. She could have a loving Husband who would give her the world, but instead, she gives away all she has to be used.

We become enslaved to our sins. Think of that one sin. You know the one. The one you cannot stop. You love this sin. And you hate this sin. You cannot bear to let it go. Will you give everything for this sin? A single sin, unrepented of, will take everything from you. It does not care about you, like the lovers of the whore, it will use you up and leave you bare. Even so, you will come back to it, and beg it to use you again.

If we do things God’s way, we find peace in this life. Like a faithful bride, in the arms of her husband, we should be also with God. We find peace and comfort in His arms. But what does God say will happen to this Whore?

“You played the whore also with the Assyrians, because you were not satisfied; yes, you played the whore with them, and still you were not satisfied. You multiplied your whoring also with the trading land of Chaldea, and even with this you were not satisfied.” Ezekiel 16:28-29

The Whore is never satisfied. She seeks out sin after sin and her heart is never satisfied. She will never find joy.

We wallow in sin, dissatisfied with life. So many Christians are depressed. We always want to get more, see more, do more? And still, it cannot change what lies deep within our hearts. We are unhappy people. We don’t want to give up our sins. And so we pretend like it isn’t sin at all. We rush to our doctors to diagnose us. Now it isn’t a sin. It’s a medical condition. No…I’m not worried. I have Anxiety. No, I’m not feeling guilty. I have Depression. Give me a pill and make my guilt go away. Let me sin and not feel bad about it. Our sins will multiply. And we will never be satisfied with life until we cast away our sins and repent. Until we turn away from the whoredom of loving our sin more than God, we will always have Anxiety and Depression. But take a pill and you’ll feel better soon.

“ Behold, I am against you, declares the LORD of hosts, and will lift up your skirts over your face; and I will make nations look at your nakedness and kingdoms at your shame.” Nahum 3:5

The Whore will be revealed. She will not be able to hide in her sin. God says he will uncover her sin for all the world to see. I think the Word of God speaks for itself. I would not want to be this woman.

There is however, good news in all this. God’s wrath has a purpose. He is not throwing some temper tantrum at His runaway wife. Actually, His goal is to cause her to return to Him. And make her pure once again. Let’s look at this next verse.

“I will make you stop playing the whore, and you shall also give payment no more. So will I satisfy my wrath on you, and my jealousy shall depart from you. I will be calm and will no more be angry.” Ezekiel 16:41b-42

The Bible says “We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” God does not want us to continue in our sin. He wants to cleanse us and heal us.

Have you found that you are playing the Whore in this story? If you have not, you are deceiving yourself. We all play the Whore at one time or another. Let me repeat that. We ALL play the Whore. We are ALL unfaithful to our Husband, Jesus. Every single one of us plays the Whore. The Church, our Mother, the Bride, she plays the Whore too.

But God will not let our sin devour us. He will strip us of our sin. And that can hurt. We hold so tightly to our sins. We love them. But for those who are called according to His purpose, He will cause everything, even stripping us bare, to work together for our good. In the end, we will be nothing short of perfect. We shall be dressed in white, a symbol of perfect purity. We will stand before God like a beautiful Bride, dressed in white, ready to be married to her Husband.

Why Does God Want Wives to Obey Their Husbands?

2005-04-25T20:45:00.000-05:00

There are a lot of women beginning to realize that God has called them to something different. They are realizing that they are distinct from men. God has a special calling for women. Women are *not* men. Women should not live like they are men. There is a revival of Biblical womanhood these days. And praise God for it!

This article is not an argument about whether or not God actually *does* differentiate between men and women. Perhaps I will get to that some day in the future. Coming into this article, we will assume that God does indeed treat women differently than men.

When I began discovering that God had different rules for women, I was shocked. Why would God treat me differently than a man? Is God prejudiced? Is it that God is male, and therefore favors men over women? The kinds of things I was reading, made me wonder. God says things like, “submit,” “learn in quietness and full submission,” “I shall not permit a woman to teach or have authority over a man,” “women are to dress modestly,” etc.

Of course, it was the Bible. So it had to be true. But what did that mean about the God I chose to serve? Was I serving a sexist tyrant? Of course, I didn’t pursue that line of thinking too long. If God was a sexist tyrant, I wouldn’t want to make Him mad. I just couldn’t get over why a God who professes in His Word to love me, would want to degrade me, by making me obey a man. Why would God give only men the status of teachers and elders? Why would the woman have to be the silent one? But this was God’s Word and so it was true. And I would obey Him. For He is God! Who would refuse to obey the God who holds your eternal life in His hands? And so the question, “Why?” was buried deep and I chose to forget about it. It was not a question to be asked.

And here I am. About nine years later. And I am daring to do what I would not do before. I asked God the question. “Why?” But this time I understand Him more. This time I am more sure of His love. I understand His Word better.

My thinking on issues has changed. I do not regard submission as degrading. I do not consider silence and modesty as demeaning. This was an important step to overcome. Jesus was submissive. Jesus submitted to His Father. He obeyed His every wish. Jesus took upon Himself the life of a servant. He left His place of perfect beauty and sinlessness to come to earth and serve us. He came to serve me. And for His service, He was rewarded with great honor and glory. If Jesus did not find it too degrading to be a servant, then I should not either. I realized it was only pride that I had to lose.

So now my question was no longer filled with anger. My question was merely inquisitive. Why does God want me to be different than men? Why do women have a different calling? Why are women to be submissive? Why are they not allowed to be elders? Why such a focus on the Patriarchs? Where were the Matriarchs in Biblical history? Why was Moses a man and not a woman? Why was God’s covenant with Abraham and not with Sarah? Why did God make man and then woman? Why was she made to be his helper? Why not equal partners? Why do women have the subservient role?

I asked God the question. God gave the answer. He continues to renew my thinking on it every day. I am still learning and understanding more and more the answer to my question. Even as I write today, I don’t have it all. But what I have been given, I will share with you.

Once upon a time, there was a man. The man needed a wife. So his father went about finding for him a wife. When he found the woman, he brought her to the man. They were married and he loved her very much.

But she was not faithful to the man. She let her heart be deceived. She went about searching for someone else. She became so desperate to be with someone else, that she offered herself to whoever would take her. She became so lonely, she even went to the extent of paying people to sleep with her. And they did. They used her over and over. They beat her. They said cruel things and broke her heart. And yet she despised her husband because he was faithful, and clung to her own unfaithfulness.

The man knew that she was not happy. He knew that her unfaithfulness is what brought her such misery. So he went to find her to free her. When he found her, in her sin, he forgave her and brought her home with him. But again and again, she left him to return to the dark streets, to the dark men who would abuse her and rape her.

Finally, the man knew what had to be done. He prepared himself, and went out into the cold, dark streets, looking for his wife. He knew where she would be. She would be in the darkest places, giving herself away to everyone but him. And he knew that she would again be enslaved to her own sin and the men that held her there.

She was where he expected her to be. All about her were the men who used her and beat her. The men looked at him and laughed. What did the man think he was going to do? Did he think he could take their precious whore away from them without a fight? Did he actually think he would win?

The fight was dirty. They didn’t fight fair. But the man would not lose this fight. He was fighting for his wife. His wife was worth whatever it cost. He shouted out to her, “Run! I will return for you.”

His words seemed to drive in her a burning desire to obey him. She wanted to be with him, after all. She wanted to be his wife. And so she ran. She ran home while her husband fought for her.

The man fought all night. And in the end, each man was conquered. But it didn’t come easy. The cost for him was great. But his wife had been saved. She was his. He would return for her. With his final breath, he said, “It is finished.”

And now she waits. She knows he will come back for her. She knows now how much he loved her. And because of his love, she loves him. She prepares herself for him as she waits. She is becoming more and more beautiful as time goes by.

Someday soon the man will return for his wife. They will pledge themselves to one another as they did in the beginning of their marriage. But this time it will be different. She is not the same woman she was then. She is pure now, because of his love and forgiveness. His love has cleansed her and made her beautiful. She will no longer walk the dark, dirty streets. But instead, she will walk arm in arm with her husband, upon the streets of gold.

And they will live happily ever after.

As you have probably guessed, Jesus is the man. The Church is the woman. The Bible says that the Church is the bride of Christ. In some ways, we are living out this story. Right now, the Church is waiting for her Husband to return and bring her home.

Marriage is a picture. One very important reason that marriage exists is to tell the story about Jesus and His Bride. We, who are married, are living out a picture. Our husbands get to play a role and so do we. This picture we paint for everyone to see. When the world sees this picture, they see Jesus and His Church. This is a very important thing that we do. It is important that we do it right. We are the light of the world. How will the world see, if our light is not burning? We need to play the roles as God has said.

What are the roles? Our husbands get to play the part of Jesus. This is the part we women need to stop and think about that. Our husbands are called by God to play the part, to express to the world, to show, to paint a picture for all to see, of Jesus. Jesus who gave up everything for his Wife. Jesus, who was never unfaithful, who sacrificed his own desires for his Bride. And our husbands get to play that part. Don’t you feel a little pity for them? How are they supposed to do that?

That’s where our role becomes important. We get to play the part of the Church, the Bride of Christ. The Church submits to Jesus. What do we do each Sunday? Don’t we go to worship God? Don’t we praise Jesus? Don’t we call Him ‘master’ and ‘lord?’ We obey His Word, because we belong to Him. And He is Head over us. This is the role we play. It is our job, as wives, to paint the picture, to tell the story, of the Church, who submits her Lord.

This calling is not a low one. But a great one. As we obey God, by obeying our husbands, we proclaim Truth to the world. We need not hand out tracts, or go knocking door to door. We don’t need to come up with catch phrases or wear silly t-shirts. Our greatest evangelism as wives, to the world, and even to our own unsaved husbands, will be our submission. For this is the high-calling role God has called you to.

Now, we live in a fallen world. Not all of our husbands will play their role. Just as not all of us wives will play ours. It is not an excuse for us, if our husbands are unbelievers, to forgo our role. Neither is it an excuse, if our husbands do believe, and yet do not lead and sacrifice as Jesus did. Whether or not your husband plays his role, you are still responsible to play yours. But rest assured, God will bless your faithfulness.

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. And let not your adornment be merely external – braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling his lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.” 1 Peter 3:1-6

There isn’t a single Christian woman that I’ve met who didn’t want her husband to love the Lord. Many women will go to great lengths to try to evangelize their husbands. They try to convince them by logic, my emotional manipulation, by guilt, and more. This passage of Scripture tells women of unbelieving husbands where to put their efforts. They are not to put their hope in other means. The greatest single way a woman tells her husband about Jesus, is by acting like the Church. Submission and respectful behavior, and a gentle and quiet spirit, will say far more to him than anything else you could ever say or do.

Now just because we play our roles, does not necessarily mean that all unbelieving husbands will repent and become Christians. It also does not mean that people will be lining up at your door asking about how they can become a Christian. Remember, we are followers of Jesus. What did they do to Jesus? What will they do to us, if we follow in His footsteps?

Just as many saw and heard about Jesus, and became Christians, your witness will draw those whom Jesus has called. But just as Jesus was persecuted and killed, you being His follower, proclaiming His truth, will be persecuted also. The louder we shout the Truth, the more people will repent and the more people will persecute us. But this is what we are called to as Christians.

Why do you think so many women get so angry about the word, “submission?” Why are there so many women trying to be like men? Why is feminism flourishing in our culture today? Why is unisex so appealing? It all comes back to the very first sin.

In the beginning, Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil because they believed that they would become like God. When women lead instead of submit, they say, “I am God.” Women are to be the picture of the submissive Church. If women are playing the part of the man, they are playing the part of Jesus. When a woman refuses to submit, and instead chooses to lead, she paints her own picture about the relationship between Christ and His Church. She says, “The Church is head over Jesus.”

Women hate the word “submission” because they love the sin of our mother, Eve. We desire to eat from the same tree. We think we will become like God. The more we blur the line between sexes, the more freedom we have to be like men. And therefore blaspheme the Word of God. This is the reason the Bible says,

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.”
Titus 2:3-5

What we do reflects the name of God and His Bride. If we are off gallivanting, pursuing selfish desires that have nothing to do with our husbands, what does this say about the Church? Should the Church be pursuing it’s own thing apart from Jesus?

What if we are not teaching our children the ways of God? What if we are expecting someone else to do it for us? What if we are too busy doing other things that we enjoy more? Other things that ‘fulfill’ us? This says that the Church is too busy doing other things that it finds more fulfilling to teach the children of God.

What if we do not love our husbands and our children? What if we are too wrapped up in taking care of number one? This paints the picture that the Church cares more about itself, how it looks, how much money it has, etc, than about Jesus or about the children of God.

What if we are not sensible and pure? What if we do what we darn well please, because we deserve it don’t we? Purity is old-fashioned, anyway. What if we just dress for success or dress for the good feeling attention we get. That says that the Church cares more about looking good, about feeling good, than about being beautiful to Jesus.

What if we are out pursuing a career, because it’s what we’ve always wanted to do? What if we let our husbands take care of themselves (they are grown men aren’t they?) and let the government take care of the kids because we want to feel like we did something worthwhile? What if we leave early in the morning and come home late? What if we never see our children and never spend real quality time with our husbands, because we are just so busy? Doesn’t that say that the Church is too busy doing other things to care about what’s going on at “home?” Doesn’t it say that the Church doesn’t really know the members, her children? Or that she doesn’t know her Husband, Jesus?

What if we are unsubmissive? What if we decide it’s degrading and we don’t want to be forced to live that "old-fashioned lifestyle?" What if we demand that we are educated, liberated women and deserve more respect than that? What if we say, we absolutely will not bend a knee to our husbands and serve them? Doesn’t that say that the Church is absolutely unwilling to acknowledge Jesus as her Master and Lord? Doesn’t that say that she will not take seriously His Word, the Bible, and live for Him and His sake?

It’s sad. All of the things that I said that we would be saying about the Church is the way the Church currently is. Isn’t the Church too busy? Does the Church really care to teach the people? Does the Church really take care of its own? Does the Church feed the poor and the sick and the widow? Or does she leave them to the government? Does the Church really read the Word of God? Does the Church really obey it? You have to ask the final question. Does the Church really love Jesus at all?

The Church and women are connected somehow. A way I cannot explain. Is it that women are not obeying their calling because the Church is failing to obey Hers? Or is it that the Church is failing to obey Her calling because women are refusing to obey theirs? It’s probably both.

But I have hope. God says He will preserve His Church to the end. I see God creating a revival among men and women. They are beginning to see that God has a great plan. It involves men leading their homes, in love, sacrificing as Jesus did, to sanctify their wives. It involves women, submitting themselves and respecting their husbands. Being keepers at home. Loving their children.

Do you know what this means? If women start playing their role, the Church will also. For in a strange way, we are one. If we women, submit to our husbands, love our children, and care for our homes, the Church will love Jesus, teach and love the children of the Church, and take care of all within. We have a great, high-calling.

Why does God want women to be submissive, gentle, quiet, keepers at home? Because His Bride is a submissive, gentle, quiet, keeper of Her home. And Her home is His home. So let us wives take heart to pray that God will give us the strength and wisdom that we need to play this part and proclaim His Truth to the World. And let us also be helpers to our husbands in their great and high-calling as well.

What's This All About

2005-04-05T20:22:00.000-05:00

I started this blog for my own sake. I want to write a book. But I need a means to organize my thoughts. This isn't an outline for my book. More, it is my own ramblings. Whenever I think of something I want to tuck away for later...this is where I will tuck it.

Anyone can feel free to leave feedback. In fact, I would love feedback. It will help me write my book more honestly.

What am I writing? Well, I would like to write a book to young, married, Christian women. While these women could be country folk or suburbians, my book will be aimed specifically at women who are living in the cities.

Why am I writing this? Well, there is alot written about how to be a Godly woman. But it seems to me that most of the women writing these books have middle to upper class, white farmer women in mind. I want to write to the young woman who just got married, found out she was pregnant, and doesn't know how to do this. She's never been a homemaker. She's not sure she would like it anyway. She's never seen a homemaker in her life. Unless you count the unemployed bums living on welfare that she grew up around. But can they really be called "home"makers?

She doesn't really know why she got married. She never had a father. She never liked any of the men in her life. They were all jerks. They ditched their wives or girlfriends. Some of them beat them. And the ones that stayed together didn't have a very good marriage, anyway. So why did she agree to do this? Won't her husband do the same thing eventually? Mayber her marriage can be different. Maybe she can hold onto her man.

But how? What makes a good marriage? What is a good wife? What is a good mother? What does God want from her? How does this relate to the young couple, with no money, and they are pregnant already? Or the couple that is about to get married, and they already have a child... or two?

Pray for me. This is a large task that I take on. And frankly, I am scared to do it. Moses complained to God that he couldn't do what God called him to because he wasn't a good speaker. Likewise, I have asked God, "Why me? I can't write a book! I'm so bad with words. I'm not eloquent." So stick with me and pray for me. I am NOT eloquent. And I am NOT good with words. But God sent Moses anyway. And so I go...